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こんにちは！現在大学4年生の関根千紘（キャンプネームはちいねえ）です。 小学生から高校生まで花山キャンプとつま恋スキーキャンプにキャンパーとして参加、そして大学１年生の夏にはAコース・Bコースのスタッフとして参加させていただきました。 今回は昔の花山キャンプと初めてカウンセラーをしたときの話をします。
久しぶりにキャンパーと集まると決まって花山キャンプの昔話になります。「あのときの登山班さー」「その年のキャンプファイヤーのときの出し物さー」「あの年のカウ誰だっけ」「え、あの班になって初めて話したの？」ワイワイガヤガヤプップクプー・・・次から次へと出るわ出る、今となってはの面白話。話は尽きません。それほど本当に４泊５日、5泊６日？だった？と思うほど花山キャンプは濃い非日常でした。 キャンパーとして花山に参加していたときは、夏は花山！自然が好き、キャンプが好き、登山が好き、成長したいというよりも、その目的は楽しい仲間と再会したい、という思いからでした。そして、夏の花山に行くことは恒例行事。『行く』というより『帰る』といった感覚だったように思います。 もともと小学生の頃から体力にはそこまで自信がなく、登山やキャンプ生活でも周りに頼りまくりでした。周りの仲間たちにとっては、いい迷惑だったかもしれません（笑）それでも、毎年行きたいと思ったのはキャンプで出会った仲間が最高だったからに違いありません。
そんな人任せで頼りない自分が、大学生となりカウンセラーを引き受けてしまったのです。こんな私がいいのだろうか・・・でも、この挑戦をすることで、違う花山の景色が見れるんじゃないか、そして単純に『久々に花山の空気を吸いたいな』という安易な考えからでした。 カウンセラーとして初めて参加した花山キャンプ、初めからはうまくは行きませんでした。 私の班は保育園児・幼稚園児の年長さんたち７人。何しろ騒がしかった！ 今思うと全部いい思い出でしかないのですが、その時はとにかくてんてこ舞いでダメダメな自分のカウンセラーっぷりに嫌気がさしました。 余裕がなくて、ピリピリしてる自分に班の子ども達は容赦なく「ちいねえ、これどうするの？」「ちいねえ、次は何するの？」「ちいねえ！」「ちいねえ！」とあっちからもこっちからも、ちいねえコール。 しかし、かつて自分もそうであったように、小学生にとってカウンセラーとは、本当に頼りになる存在でした。そしてまさに、この子たちにとって自分は今、そういう存在であることに気づき、ハッとしました。この子たちのカウンセラーは私以外いないんだ、この子達の頼りは自分だけなんだ、と奮い立ちました。
現在、私はちょうど就職活動を終えたばかり、来年の春からはついに社会人です。社会人1年目は新しいことばかりで慣れない！大変！とよく耳にします。とにかく不安ですが、初めてのカウンセラーでてんてこ舞いになったあの日々を経験した私なら大丈夫！という気持ちで、たまにキャンプのことを思い出しながら前進していこうと思います。 花山は私にとって仲間とキャンプ生活を謳歌する大切な場所、知らないうちに自分を成長させてくれた場所です。これからも、ずっと子どもたちの笑顔あふれる花山であり続けてほしいと願っています。
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